Nice thinking....

1. Be the person you want to be.

The internet is only very loosely connected to real life. Take advantage of this fact to renew yourself as a larger-than-life internet persona. Like starting a brand new job, starting an online life presents you with an entirely clean slate. You can be anyone and say anything. No one outside of your small circle of fiends will have ANY IDEA that you aren't being yourself online. Wish you were more well spoken? Take your time and write well constructed posts and comments. Always bite your tongue when someone ticks you off? Become the internet's biggest jerk and flame anyone and everyone (although I don't recommend this route). Wish people thought you were smarter? Do good research and think before you type - it won't be long before people start respecting your opinion. Take advantage of the abstract nature of the internet to become the person you always wanted to be.

2. Say something other than "Hi! Its me!"

I mean this in the nicest possible way: NO ONE CARES! If you are serious about creating and maintaining an internet presence than you are going to have to break out of the traditional real-world "get to know you" attitude. In the virtual world people don't want to get to know you just because you seem like a good person. At some point, you're going to need something intelligent to say if you want people to sit up and pay attention. If you don't have a specific subject in mind, try to find anything you can that might make people smile, laugh, cry, think, or respond. Unless you're one of those lucky people who's life is exciting enough for others to want to follow, you're going to have to think a little bit for your posts. 

Note: This point does not apply to people who are extremely physically attractive. If you are such a person, you'll be just fine posting a few sentences with nice hi-res pictures of yourself. I'm sure you'll have a sizable following within the first few months. Cheers to you.

3. Take your time.

Another nice (but sometimes frustrating) aspect of the internet is the fact that almost nothing happens in real time. You can take all day to write your post and people will assume you came up with it in 15 minutes. Taking your time and making sure your words come across as you intended. There's no reason to rush out a post and accidentally say something stupid or unintentional. Develop your style and stick to it. People will be much more likely to stick around if they know they can expect quality posts every time.

4. Keep it short.

People are busy. Don't be a jerk and take up more of their time than is needed to get your points across. Unfortunately, I've clearly decided to ignore this final point in my first post (the one you're reading). If you're still here, thanks for reading. I'm almost done. Next time I promise I'll have something beneficial to say, although I can't promise it will be relevant to you.

I hope you've enjoyed my first post. I've certainly enjoyed writing it. Check back again soon for another completely random sample of the things rattling around in my head. Hopefully something cool will pop out.